Raise Better Men

I haven’t written in a while and I apologize for that. It’s been a tough month and what not, you know how it is. It’s not an excuse though, I’m a creative so I should be doing this often. I woke up today morning feeling lazy and it didn’t go well with my current lifestyle. I’m still looking for a job and it gets depressing. If you’ve seen my posts on facebook, I’ve been wilding. Everything is blowing out of proportion but one thing I’m happy about is I’ve stopped being scared. I’ve become more confident. I think it’s the growth. It’s me becoming a man. A better man. Being a better man is not easy. I’ve gone through the most annoying of experiences and I’m glad I’ve managed to stay afloat. You may be wondering where this is going but just wait on it. I opened my social media this morning to find a long post about a lady who was harassed last night in a matatu. She’s one of the creatives I really envy and she told us the whole story. It’s not the first though! I go through social media a lot because it interests me and I find posts of women being sexually harassed everywhere. You know how disturbing that sounds? We’ve grown into a generation of men who aren’t confident enough to handle rejection. Confidence! That’s why I’m proud to mention it as part of my awesome growth. Confidence!

Confidence!

Men of my generation are more intimidated by situations that they turn their masculinity into something that is ugly. They transfer their energy into belittling women. I know you have seen friends do that. You and the boys sitted pale base discussing soccer and a lady passes by, y’all stop what you are doing and start whistling like dogs. Sounds familiar?

Why don’t you stand up, leave the group of boys you hang out with and actually go talk to her? Don’t whistle in a group!

If she rejects you, what do you do? Sure your boys will laugh at you when you leave her alone and take the rejection like a man, but that’s being better! You turning your advances into a violent outburst so your boys clap for you and call you savage for harassing the girl is being a lousy man!

Don’t cheer along!

Don’t turn into a small boy and cheer as your friend tries to force himself on a girl. Girl are humans too. They have preferences too. Maybe she likes tall dark and handsome guys and you meet neither of these descriptions. Don’t go after her when she says no. I’ve been in a lot of inboxes on facebook and when the girl said no, I fucking moved on!

I want my daughter to feel safe in a matatu. I want her to feel safer in an uber even though it’s getting worse than matatus. I’ve read of cases where girls have been rapped and killed in taxis. Rape is illogical. It still beats me how you can force someone to have sex with you! Heard of masturbation? Porn maybe? Oh you are a Christian? You think that’s dirty compared to rape? Find a fucking hobby! Go to the gym!

Y’all men reading this, help me to raise awareness. Raise better men. You want your daughters to be handled like people. You want your daughters to stay out past 9pm. How many of you girls go to dates past 8pm?

I have been to music events. You wanna know how many girls turned up? Well sometimes it’s none. Two months ago I was in westlands for a Hip Hop event, there were 4 girls in the building. 4!! Last Saturday I was at another event, there were less than 10 ladies, and it was daytime!

They don’t come to events because y’all men are stupid. If she isn’t feeling your vibe stop grinding on her. If she doesn’t want your drinks, use that money to go back home! Be a better man. Influence fellow men! Your behavior will be appreciated by your boys if you keep being better. Your friends will want to be better when you handle rejection like a man. Your friends will respect you when you don’t keep talking to a girl in a matatu with earphones in her ears. She don’t want to be talked to! Respect yourself enough to mind your business.

I won’t even go into the whole debate of my dress my choice. It’s her fucking choice!!

Don’t let this generation of men grow into little shits who can’t go a day without feeling sorry for themselves. Don’t let your male friends feel weak. Build them into men who pull chairs for ladies at restaurants. Teach them how to say “Please”. You know how sexy you look when you say “Excuse me ma’am, may I talk to you? “?

Be better. Raise better men!